An old friend called me with the fantastic news that she is expecting her first baby in September. Of course, I asked her if she’d like me to teach her self-hypnosis techniques for the birth. There was a long silence and then she said: ‘You know, I’m trying to avoid thinking about the birth for as long as possible.’

Of course, I couldn’t just let that go. Particularly because I just came back from an inspirational course in hypnosis for childbirth, facilitated by the lovely Karen Duignan, European trainer for the National Childbirth Trust with a vast experience of working with women, their birth partners and health professionals, teaching them self-hypnosis.

Over the course of the weekend, we talked about the kind of conditioning we all – men and women – undergo about birth during the course of our lives. We learn that birth is painful and difficult and that the whole thing is something to be afraid of. There always seems to be someone only too happy to share a gory story with us about just how hard their experience was. But you can bet that those people weren’t using self-hypnosis during the birth!

That’s why my courses in hypnosis for childbirth begin with a debriefing of all the unhelpful suggestions we’ve received about having a baby, either through previously bad experience or just by growing up in our culture.

Unlike many other kinds of pain, contractions aren’t a warning that something is going wrong – they’re a sign that something is actually going very right! When we approach the birth of a baby feeling calm, relaxed, confident and empowered, we can experience the natural rhythms of our bodies as something wholly positive and good. We can trust our bodies and make good decisions.

So, I’m collecting together all the positive and empowering birth stories I can and I’m sending them to my friend along with a self-hypnosis CD. I’m going to get her thinking about – feeling and visualising – the special and exciting time ahead of her.